| p>"How can you ask me to be selfish when all | | | | be a bit more selfish. Someone like Mary, who |
| my life I have been taught that to be selfish is | | | | had received such strong messages that any sign |
| bad" said Mary. She was visibly taken aback by | | | | of "selfishness" was bad needed more of the |
| my request. Growing up she was told over and | | | | latter. Likewise, someone who was at the other |
| over that she was selfish. Gradually she learned to | | | | extreme of "selfishness" would need to learn to |
| be much more concerned about other people's | | | | be less selfish in order to be in a good relationship. |
| feelings than her own. | | | | Vibrant relationships involve an ability by both |
| When I asked Mary to to be selfish I wanted her | | | | people to care for self and be appropriately there |
| to take better care of herself. Caring for her self | | | | for each other. It also allows each the opportunity |
| would mean getting enough sleep, eating nutritious | | | | to establish solid boundaries and build a foundation |
| food, exercising, valuing her time and boundaries, | | | | of integrity. |
| setting limits with others and spending time with | | | | It is essential for human beings to love and value |
| people she enjoyed. We re-framed the word | | | | themselves. It is through loving ourselves that we |
| selfish to caring about self. | | | | also learn to love others. For Mary loving herself |
| In Webster's Dictionary selfish is defined as "caring | | | | was SELFISH. Learning to care for herself taught |
| unduly for oneself; regarding ones own comfort, | | | | her that she could take good care of herself and |
| advantage etc. in disregard, or at the expense, of | | | | still be caring of others and form vibrant |
| that of others." In common usage the word | | | | relationships. |
| selfish can also be used when a person needs to | | | | |